Feedback is a gift

What’s your first reaction when you are being criticized?

Probably you get very defensive and justify why the person is wrong. Why? Well, it might have multiple root causes but I would say that mainly it’s because of human nature (ego?), fear pops in or defensive mode comes up.

On the other side, it might also happen because the person giving the feedback does not do it properly: lack of empathy, no setup, no proper explanation, lack of concrete examples, lack of suggestions on how to do it better.

The talk

Let’s say, you gave a talk to your team and your manager comes to you afterward and says: your talk was really good.

Do you think that’s feedback? Most people would say yes, but it’s not. It’s just a compliment. What’s the difference? We will get there soon. Stick with me.

Let’s say another person on your team did not like the presentation and came to you and said that the talk was pretty bad. What’s your reaction? Sadness, hello darkness my old friend. Was this feedback? Not at all. It was a critic.

What is feedback?

The manager could have said, that she liked the presentation because she connected to it when you openly talked about yourself, and that the communication was clear and direct to the point. Also, the…